What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why does my narcissistic ex told me that he f*cked and sleep with other woman and then at the end says that it also happened because of me?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

True - how I loved my mum!

Why is it so hard to date nowadays?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why do boobs of some girls bounce when they walk?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What do you mean son?